Pujols Leaves Missouri for L.A; Brings Misery to Seattle & The Bay.

I'm too sad to even photo shop a Mariners jersey on this poor sap.

I feel a lot like Adam Levine in the music video for “Misery“, except instead of getting beat up by a supermodel, I’m taking a kick to the crotch by a guy who looks like this (no offense to you personally Mr. Dipoto).

It was awfully hard being a Mariners fan before Albert Pujols (and C.J. Wilson) joined the Angels. But now? Unbearable…

Seattle wasn’t going to contend for the A.L. West in 2012. They probably weren’t going to be contending for the division in 2013. Now they won’t likely be sniffing the playoffs (I hear they smell like cinnamon rolls) this decade.

Is Phat Albert’s 10 year/$254 million dollar contract a terrible deal? Only for every team in the A.L. West that has to face Pujols on a daily basis. Will he be any good in six or seven years? Who cares! The Angels will win now (plus the Rangers aren’t going anywhere) and they will win after Pujols turns 40 because they are willing to spend money to get better, not hope that Brad Wilkerson finally puts it all together in a new environment.

I’m tired of hearing “next year”. I’m tired of hearing “Jack Z has a plan”.  Any plan that involves Chone Figgins, Milton Bradley, Jack Cust, and other various piles of excrement is not a plan I want to be a part of. Two wild card spots are not enough to get the Mariners back to the playoffs. Ten wild card spots might not be enough with Miguel Olivo hitting clean up.

I don’t want to hear about regression to the mean (sometimes players that are bad, just stay bad) or BABIP (Michael Saunders didn’t hit .150 because he was unlucky; he hit .150 because he’s not a major league player). I don’t want to hear how Nick Franklin will have a higher WAR than Pujols in five years. I just want to watch a team that can hit a ball out of the infield, and on occasion, win a game.

Is that asking too much?