The Sweetest Thing: Seattle Mariners Now Frontrunners for 2011 World Series with Addition of Three Extra Home Games.

If Bono can't save the M's, who can?

Although Mariners’ fans still haven’t found what they’re looking for (a World Series title) their suffering may soon come to an end thanks to a very unlikely source…legendary rock and roll band U2.

Due to a scheduling conflict at Sun Life Stadium the Marlins vs. Mariners three-game series set for June 24-26 in Florida will be shifted to Safeco Field in order to accommodate U2’s “We’re So Much More Important Than Baseball” Tour.

The Mariners, a vastly superior team at home (35-46) compared to on the road (26-55), will look to cash in on three extra games at the friendly confines of Safeco. Most baseball experts switched their preseason predictions for the AL West upon learning of Seattle’s 84 home games with the Mariners as the clear-cut favorites in over 90 percent of Gallup Polls. ESPN’s Buster Olney explains why this seemingly minor move will have major ramifications for the rest of the league:

The Mariners are a team perfectly tailored for their home park (great pitching and an stellar offense) who will benefit greatly from their extra games in Safeco. Although the games are played with National League rules it will be the Mariners, not the Marlins, who will benefit from this move because it allows Seattle to insert a pitcher into their lineup rather than being dragged down by a designated ‘hitter’. We at the ESPN think tank conservatively estimate that the Mariners will win 80 of their 84 home games…throw in 20 or so wins on the road and you’ve got a team steamrolling into the playoffs with 100+ wins. If Seattle doesn’t win the World Series this year, I will forever relinquish my title as ‘Baseball’s Brightest Buster’. You heard it here first.”

Although the Mariners are attempting to draw attention from their newfound status as favorite by drumming up rumors of a Chone Figgins trade (who is far to valuable to ever consider moving*) it’s clear they won’t be able to hide forever. With Bono’s touch, 2011 will be as good as gold for Seattle…

*There’s a microscopic chance that comment is sarcastic.

Advertisements

3 Responses

  1. Classic Vidro, Bud! Great read

  2. I bet Bono’s lifetime slugging percentage is higher than Miguel Olivo’s.

  3. Bud. Read “A Modest Proposal” by Jonathan Swift. Appreciate the sarcasm, and that you could probably use it to spice up a blog post.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: