2013 Seattle Mariners New Year’s Resolutions

New Year’s resolutions are like receipts – nobody but squares keep ‘em. That doesn’t stop millions of people from making them though, including your very own Seattle Mariners:

Carlos Peguero: Close eyes. Swing hard.

Eric Wedge: Bury Casper Wells even deeper on the bench. Stroke mustache more.

Casper Wells: Stare wistfully at field from dugout.

Michael Saunders: Capitalize on his nickname (“The Condor”) and start making bird noises when he hits home runs. Bacaw!

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will hurt forever."

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will hurt forever.”

Felix Hernandez: Two perfect games.

Kendry Morales: Introduce fellow Mariners’ hitters to the mystical powers of Jobu.

Hector Noesi: Stop reading the newspaper the day after a start because it always hurts his feelings.

Alex Liddi: Get picture of cat eating pizza onto front page of Reddit.

Brendan Ryan: Contribute on defense AND at the plate.

Charlie Furbush: Work up courage to ask teammates to stop making fun of his last name.

Dustin Ackley: Found out more about all this “fiscal cliff” hubbub.

Justin Smoak: Play terribly for Seattle. Get traded. Turn into star for new team.

Wow! That sure is a lot to look forward to! Opening Day can’t get here soon enough!

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One Response

  1. You’re right on with the Smoak Monster… So unfortunate

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